Fame or famine

Seriously, you guys really need to get over me!!!

The gracious host

Why don't you come over to my very dirty house and let's hang out tonight. You're just not allowed to use my restroom though...because I'm feeling a little high maintenance right now!

No...but yes!

I think my friends can be mean to me sometimes. They tell me I'm beautiful and are tired of listening to me complain. But I do enjoy the attention most of the time!

Perhaps I need to move to a different city. I wonder if they'd miss me then?

Double chins

Me: That's a beautiful photo of you and your husband! It got a lot of attention and compliments on social networks!

Child: I don't like it and I have a double chin! Every time I look at that photo, I can't stop looking at my ugly double chin!

Conversation Snippet 2

Child: You know what?.. I love the new soap I bought. It smells amazing!
Me: Oh i want to smell it
Child: I used it this morning. Smell me.
Me: I am not going to smell you!
Child: I smell good! I wont tell you otherwise. Smell my hand?
Me: Ok, i ll think about it

Observation 3

Protagonist loves salads and is very healthy

Me: you know once a week or so, you should really think about eating unhealthy food and just splurging on it.

Protagonist: I do! I do! i did that last night 

Me: What did you eat ?

Protagonist: I made soupy dal and sprinkled two spoons full of rice on it

Me: sigh 

Another observer: That is my healthy food! 

Observation 2

"You know how your face transforms right infront of your eyes when you look into the mirror? Like your dark circles get bigger and bigger.. "

Fatty issues

Child: I am fat
Observer: In what world are you fat?
Child: In the world of swimsuits... :(

Problem 3

I am sitting fatly
like a pot bellied banya

conversation snippet 1

Protagonist: My husband is coming home and I am pretending to be dead
Me: Why?
Protagonist: For fun

Problem 2

I have a tire for a stomach

carrie bradshaw moments ..

... When it comes to love .. what nice things have you done for your husband lately ? .. 

                   I give him career advice ..

Observation 1

Why do people love me ?
Everyone sees a little bit of me in them

Problem 1

My lips don't close